Earl Grey Infused Gin With Vanilla Simple Syrup

Image of a bottle of Tanqueray gin, a green square tea tin labelled 'Earl Grey', and a clear infuser teapot half-full of liquid.

Poetry blog, schmoetry schmlog.

It seems like every time I try to go sober, I immediately find some way of making drinking 1000% better than I ever imagined. This is one of those times. Continue reading


Homemade Curry Paste

Homemade Curry Paste

Control the spice, control the universe.

I know that making your own curry paste might sound like a ginormous pain in the arse, and there will be a part of you that keeps whispering ‘Why the hell are we bothering with this?’ but trust me, it’s really good. And the big benefit of making your own curry paste is that you can tweak it to suit your taste, and it will be much more aromatic than commercially-produced curry paste without having to be a visit to chilli-town. If there’s a particular spice you don’t like, just substitute for something you do. I pretty much used a bit of everything, and invented this mix by combining and tweaking three or four different recipes. This will be a spiritual adventure, a commitment to experimentation and discovering what you like most in this world (or at least in the world of spices and aromatics).
Also, all measurements are really approximate, but don’t worry, this is really really really hard to screw up. Just zen it, baby. Continue reading

Pasta Salad with Salmon and Kale

Sounds classy, looks like a hot mess, tastes like delicious, provides many nutrients.

Makes 3 main meals or about 6 side servings or 1 big ol’ potful.

In case you can’t tell yet, take all my measurements with a grain of salt and use your judgement and don’t sue me. I’m not a food blogger.


salmon fillets: 500g skinned and boned

pasta: 400g dry I guess

red capsicum: like, half to three-quarters of a large capsicum

kale: 2 stalks (or substitute rocket or baby spinach)

olives: 3 tbsp pitted kalamata from a jar (or whatever olives you like and I don’t know how you measure olives? So 75g of olives or approximately two dozen olives or more or less depending on how much you like olives)

pesto: 2 tbsp at least

lime juice: juice of half a lime-ish

parmesan: at your discretion

(and, just to be totally clear, you’ll need basics like water and salt and pepper. And a saucepan and a frypan and a drainer and a big spoon and an optional steamer. And a knife. And a bowl and a fork.)


Set water to boil for the pasta. Put frypan on medium heat for the salmon. I mean, probably the water will take much longer than the frypan so use your judgement. Ideally, you want them ready to cook with at the same time, but the world won’t end if you do the pasta process and the salmon process separately/screw up the timing.


Take photos because no one has every used the internet for photos of food before.

While you’re waitingsprinkle salt and pepper on one side of the salmon fillets. Chop capsicum, halve olives, strip leaves from kale stalks and tear into small pieces.


Make a mountain of kale that dwarfs the other ingredients.

When water is boiling, add a pinch of salt because that’s how you do it, and add pasta.

Add salmon to pan seasoned side down. Don’t bother with oil unless your pan’s very old and non-non-stick. After 4 minutes, flip fillets.

Around three minutes after that/after the pasta has cooked for 7 minutes/when your heroic multi-function kitchen timer tells you so, add kale in a steamer on top of the pasta. You just want it to wilt and go bright green, so it’s good if you can see it, but otherwise, this will only take 2 minutes.

He's a maverick.

He’s a maverick.

Place steamed kale in drainer, unless you’re like me and you use your drainer as a makeshift steamer, in which case you’ve already got your kale exactly where you want it to be. Drain pasta over the kale. Return both to the saucepan.

Add pesto and stir through. Add vegetables and stir through. Flake salmon, add to saucepan, squeeze over lime juice, stir through.


This is a great recipe for impressing someone who has already agreed to sleep with you and/or someone with very bad eyesight.

Serve in a bowl because sometimes we all just want our food in a big easy-to-eat pile. Add parmesan I guess if you’re eating it hot, and I recommend eating at least some of this hot. Store the rest in Tupperware.